Twelve and a half years…

That is the average time it takes for a mental illness to be diagnosed here in the U.K.

I have battled with anxiety and depression for over a decade, eleven years to be exact, yet I’m still not there at the right diagnosis.

They say I suffer from a depressive disorder, but isn’t that bipolar?

The research suggests that for Bipolar to be diagnosed the first thing that is considered or a symptom, is depression.

I remember telling one of my doctors that well, I’m not going to come and see you just to you I’m feeling good and that was the truth. After all, my doctor wasn’t my therapist.

I used to believe that everybody felt this way, that everybody had the same thoughts that I had, but this just wasn’t true.

So when I think back now I realize that I knew from such a young age, that something wasn’t right, even if it did take me so long to know I wasn’t like everybody else. At that age that’s all you want, to fit in and to be like everyone else, to blend in and not stand out, It just wasn’t the case with me.

Now that I’m an adult, by age, I have set myself apart maybe not intentionally but I have and that is the reality of suffering from mental illness. You become disconnected from the world around you, from the people around you most, it becomes a reality of feeling alone in a room full of people.

At a time where social media is the focal point of our society and modern day interaction, we feel obliged to be happy, when the opposite is true.

I may have a little way to go yet in knowing who I am given the label that is true to me, so I want to remind you, that it’s okay to still be waiting and to still be fighting because we deserve to be recognized, even if it’s for the things we hide.

We have the right to be happy and when we are the world should know because we deserve the right, to tell the truth.

I am both the Warrior and the Wolf for they live inside of me. What lives inside of you?

 

It’s Jaimi Quinn.

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