Breathless

I can’t find the words
I can’t begin to sympathise
My tongue is tied
Into a thousand ties

So far beneath the clouds
In this lifetime that has passed me by
I forgot how it felt to be loved
You taught me to try

Falling so fast
Consumed in your allure
I know that my fragile heart
Could find the strength
To love again
If you held my hand

People say dreams can come true
I never believed in them
I never believed until I met you

To my broken smile
You are the cure
My wings out wide
You taught me to fly

I am never afraid
For your eyes are the diamonds
In my pitch black night
Your arms are my home;
Your voice is my lullaby

I could never soar so high
You breathe life into me
I hope you already know
This is our destiny

The beating of my heart,
You are the pressure in my chest
I can’t sleep without you in my eyes
You are the reality at its best.
Within your heart I am young,
I am defenceless.
Words can’t find my tongue,
I am breathless.

Advertisements

The relationship of Mental Illness and Self.

Like any relationship, the one between mental illness and ‘self’ has its ups and downs, it has its own balance or sometimes an imbalance, but it takes work.

Sometimes, more work than the ability we have to do so.

(more…)

To Love Again.

This is for you, my love, to the one I haven’t met

To the one who will know me

When I don’t know me yet.

 

Out there living your life as I am here living mine

One day I shall know you

When our paths cross in time.

 

Today I know I am broken but this is for you then

For I know you will find me

Even if I don’t know when.

 

So I am fighting for you now, for when you help me rise above

For the days I can’t love myself

I know I will feel your love.

 

I shall live without you for now so I am alive for you then

For one day, I know I’ll be ready

To love again.

 

 

Twelve and a half years…

That is the average time it takes for a mental illness to be diagnosed here in the U.K.

I have battled with anxiety and depression for over a decade, eleven years to be exact, yet I’m still not there at the right diagnosis.

They say I suffer from a depressive disorder, but isn’t that bipolar?

The research suggests that for Bipolar to be diagnosed the first thing that is considered or a symptom, is depression.

I remember telling one of my doctors that well, I’m not going to come and see you just to you I’m feeling good and that was the truth. After all, my doctor wasn’t my therapist.

(more…)