Good People Vs Bad People.

On the most romantic day of the year, I am writing about love but more so about loving thy self.

When you’ve spent over a decade shadowed by mental illness, sometimes you are so used to it being the good reason and the and reasons for every decision you make, you start to believe it’s just who you really are and not just a part of you.

I finally understand the cliché quote of “It’s not you, it’s me!”



Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

A kiss, to me, is a moment of intimacy. A fleeting moment, but a moment still.

It is a part of me that I give, I give for free. It is a part of me, that you can have. You can see. Everything else that has a price. That even I cant afford most days. Most months.

For a kiss, is physical. Love is everything else, it is emotional, mental, intellectual and spiritual. Those things I don’t give to myself let alone someone else.

But for that small moment, I am yours. I am everything I want to be. Then our lips part and I run. I self-sabotage. Even more so with someone I really like.


The Third Wheel…

Being in any relationship has its hardships and delights, but when mental health issues are in the mix does this complicate things or does it enlighten them?

At what point do you tell them? Right at the beginning, on your dating profile, after six months or just wait for them to notice and say, oh didn’t I tell you? When is it okay to say, “Hey! I have a mental illness, well not one or two but three!” When will they believe it’s just a part of me? 


The last plot twist of the year…

Have you seen that Instagram post “I hope the last two months of 2017 are the plot twist you were hoping for”? (original owner unknown.)

I have and it struck home to me. I pictured 2017 as a year-in-the-life book, then I questioned; what would it be about, what would I write about?

So, 2017 as much as you have been sweet to me you have also been unkind, and this why.