recovery

The Third Wheel…

Being in any relationship has its hardships and delights, but when mental health issues are in the mix does this complicate things or does it enlighten them?

At what point do you tell them? Right at the beginning, on your dating profile, after six months or just wait for them to notice and say, oh didn’t I tell you? When is it okay to say, “Hey! I have a mental illness, well not one or two but three!” When will they believe it’s just a part of me? 

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Dying Stars

I lay beside your body and your silence filled my lungs.
I can feel the tingle of my fingers as I stroked your chest.
Your heart beat protruded through your skin and I felt the pain of a thousand dying stars.

In the glory of death, they have never glistened so bright. They were beautiful to the naked eye, just as you were naked.

You were beautiful.

In that moment, sorrow swirled through your tired eyes and I knew, I knew the pain you felt.
How it crippled your lungs and made your hands shake.

I knew what it had done to you, how it had encaged you in a life of broken dreams.
I knew what it was doing to you.

How it was tying your tongue to your throat to choke the words that could set you free.
I knew that I could not fight it for you but be there by your side, to see you through the war against your mind.

The moonlight laid against our skin and our eyes met, your lips parted and a shiver ran through my veins.
I could hear your thoughts through the shadows of the room as if they were projected onto the walls around us.

You did not talk but you pressed your lips against my skin and that was all the words you could never know how to begin.

The relationship of Mental Illness and Self.

Like any relationship, the one between mental illness and ‘self’ has its ups and downs, it has its own balance or sometimes an imbalance, but it takes work.

Sometimes, more work than the ability we have to do so.

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